Fuck off if you hate emo shits.

I was really down in the dumps that day.

Results will be released on Monday. Again, I plunge into the same dilemma like two years ago. Choosing the paths. Uncertain. Fed up. I thought the two-year form 6 is sufficient to make up my mind of what i wanna be. But nonetheless, I still get stuck at here, as if i've never moved. Perhaps we were too busy to even take notice of that, or we just deliberately wanted to be oblivious, or we simply fear to assume. Gone are the days we boasted our dreams like nothing's impossible, until the reality sinks in. Once you start growing old, everyone expects you to speak something that make sense, something that they can put trust in, something that sounds promising. "Please dream only after you put much considerations." A lot of dreams you ever dreamed on were being crossed off from the list, considering the finance, the requirements, the prospects and etc, all you wanna do so much is to murder the person who ever said "dare to dream big". In the end, we shut the fuck up. 

These days I've been looking forward so much to leave this home. I wonder if this is a stage that everyone would go through, like faster i wanna get myself outta this hell asap. Uneasiness crept in. Many problems arose. Secrets accumulated. All i could think of all this while is leaving. I'm longing to breath the new air, to meet the new people, to start over again at the new place, to resuscitate a new life. I did my research. The intake is on March and I smiled. Imma get myself outta this hell soon. See how eager i am, because you don't see what i am facing. 

But just as i thought my decision is firmly unquestionable, somebody's little advise could kill it off easily somehow.  Even my determination is so fragile, and this pissed me off the most. Why can't i just believe in myself without any hesitation? Why don't i just DO it regardless all the opinions i heard. After so many years, i just can't be sure of anything in my life because everything is still pretty unsure. My life sucks right?

I'm twenty. The number is urging me to be mature, reminding me of that being dumb and naive is no longer my privilege.

I was wandering alone in Jusco. I sat down on a bench, gazing into the far long distance, trying to search the answer from the air. I just couldn't see any hints.

Perhaps the result will reveal it all.

Goodluck everyone! =)